An Exercise in Futility

I once wrote a paper with the above title-- and it was the final for my bassoon class. Life's gotten more complicated since college.

We moved here nine years ago. I was 23, naive and good-hearted. I thought it might be nice to volunteer. And so I became a "mentor" with the public school system. During my time as a mentor, I became acquainted with three young girls. With two of them I am still in touch -- one, our relationship only lasted for a year or two but oddly enough, I ran into her last week at the grocery store. She had a job there. We spoke pleasantries to one another and that was that.

The two with whom I am still in contact both dropped out of high school, one has had a baby and the other is currently pregnant. The currently pregnant teen comes from, at best, a tulmultuous (dare I say crazy?) and non-supportive family situation.

This week, I've been helping her navigate the system so that she can get in to see a doctor. DHS smells like hopelessness and despair.

I don't know if I really have a point here, except the effort feels useless. And I'm not saying I regret it or that I want to ditch the relationships. I guess what I am saying is that I see how critical good parenting really is. I've spent countless hours and dollars on these girls, and the net result was still the same because they went home every night to a situation of drugs or abuse or ambivalence.

Thus the cycle continues, unless this generation decides to give her baby a better life through adoption. I'm scared to even be optimistic for fear of jinxing the whole thing.

Robbing the Cradle

I've have some very lovely single girlfriends in their 30's. Smart, beautiful, educated, Christian women who have much to offer their male counterparts. But guess who these young women are now competing with out in the dating circuit? The female toddlers they used to babysit when they were teenagers. It seems horribly unfair, and even though I am happily married and not "out there," it makes me sad for my sweet friends searching for love.