I'm not naive enough to think that everyone likes me--I'm confident I rub people the wrong way all the time! I'm loud, I sometimes tend to be a bit crass. I laugh when adults (and children) fall down. I am always thinking of the very WORST that could happen and then forming contingency plans to deal with it. But for the most part, I think the people who know me, well, KNOW ME. Perhaps like me the way I am. Or perhaps not. Maybe I'm not making any sense.
What I am trying to say is that you bop along in life, many times on your best behavior. You're kind to people, very specifically considerate and then you figure out, to some of them, it's just not enough. That's happened to me lately, and it's tough because I start to doubt myself. Am I enough? Maybe they are just tolerating me because on some level they have to? Am I so bad that I need constant correction?
What I really should be considering is that maybe the problem isn't necessarily me, but, while that sounds nice on paper, the feelings of inadequacy still worm their way in. And fester.
4 comments:
I totally hear you....but...just for the record.....you are truly one of the absolutely best, most amazing, admirable, fun, funny, and darling people I have ever known.
Yeah, I try to accept that I can be a bit obnoxious myself, but I'm comforted to know that I have friends who like me anyway! And I'm with Kat, you are wonderful and hilarious. I especially love it when you're crass :)
Holly, I've always liked you and thought you were super cool! (Of course that may be because you remind me so much of my older cousin Tiffany who I used to follow around like a little puppy when we were kids, but most likely it is because you ARE super cool!)
You're not supposed to be this pessimistic, HS. :)
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